Driving in Arizona...

Hey, I thought you might enjoy this -- especially those of you who are at least part-time residents. :-)

HOW TO DRIVE IN PHOENIX, ARIZONA.

1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: "FEE-NICKS".

2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour is from noon to 7:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.

3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 85 mph. On Loop 101, your speed is expected to match the highway number. Anything less is considered "Wussy".

4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Phoenix has its own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires go second.

However, in the East Valley, SUV-driving, cell phone-talking soccer moms ALWAYS have the right of way.

5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, cussed out, and possibly shot.

6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can get you shot.

7. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Phoenix. Detour barrels are moved around for your entertainment pleasure during the middle of the night to make the next day's driving a bit more exciting.

8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, barrels, cones, cows, horses, cats, mattresses, shredded tires, squirrels, rabbits, crows, vultures, javelinas, roadrunners, and the coyotes feeding on any of the aforementioned items.

9. Maricopa Freeway, Papago Freeway and the "I-10" are the same road.

SR202 is the same road as The Red Mountain Fwy unless you are in the south-east valley where it is the San Tan Freeway. It curves around and heads north in the Far East Valley and becomes Red Mountain Fwy again… as to where that takes place no one really knows.

Dunlap and Olive are the same street too.

Jefferson becomes Washington, but they are not the same street.

I-17 is also called The Black Canyon Freeway as well as The Veterans Memorial Highway.

And if all that isn't enough to remember SR 51 has recently been renamed to Piestewa Freeway because Squaw Peak Parkway was too easy to pronounce.

SR 101 is also the Pima Fwy except west of I-17, which is also The Black Canyon Fwy, and The Veterans Memorial Hwy.

Lastly, Thunderbird Rd. becomes Cactus Rd., but, Cactus Rd doesn't become Thunderbird Rd. because it dead ends at a mountain.

10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally activated."

11. If you are in the left lane and only driving 70 in a 55-65 mph zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off" accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot. Twice if you have out-of-state plates. No exceptions.

12. For summer driving, potholders are advisable and asbestos suits are permissible if in seasonal colors.

Mind the chicken...

Yikes - its been a bit since I posted last and there has been a lot happening. So, let's see here...

The single biggest thing has been the fact that I ended up with a particularly nasty bout of food poisoning last weekend. I had the Quick Draw on Saturday and then went with some friends up to Payson (map here) on Sunday morning. We grabbed Starbucks on the way out of town and went to Beeline up there for breakfast. We puttered around Pine and then had lunch at La Sierra and went to the North's meeting. So I got see tons of people I haven't talked to in awhile, which was really nice. But, moving on with the story... we changed clothes and headed up to the Rim afterwards. Well, partway up to the Rim -- at Christopher Creek (map here) -- I switched out driving with one of my friends because I wasn't feeling well and we continued on up to the turn-off for Woods Canyon Lake, because on the road that goes out there is a great vista point. By the time we got there I was really feeling bad so I waited in the car. But, after awhile I knew I was going to be sick - so I went off into the woods and then came back and we piled in to head back to the Valley. Partway down we had to pull over so I could be sick again and then when we were in Star Valley a few miles outside of Payson and I got really bad... my arms and legs began to constrict and cramp up and then I lost the ability to move my arms and hands and couldn't walk... it was pretty bad. So my friends called the paramedics and they took me into the hospital. They got me on IVs (OWWWWW - I HATE NEEDLES) and shot me up with some meds, did blood work, etc. and so I began to improve but I was extremely dehydrated. After I got out on Monday we all went and got some shut-eye at a friend's house up there in Pine which was really nice of them. My friends drove my car back down to the valley and I've spent the majority of the week asleep. I went in to work for two half days on Thursday and Friday and I'm planning on going back full time as of Monday. So, that was my fun Payson trip.

Let's see, the monsoon season is here... I don't know if we've officially had monsoon storms yet, but we have had some pretty big thunderstorms - and some whopping dust storms. I guess the dust has been three times the federal limit because of the storms here recently. I can tell you this... there was one last week that was so bad you couldn't even see through an intersection the visibility was so low from the dust. I literally shook dust out of my clothes when I got inside and I was only outside of the car to walk between it and the house and when I got out to return some movies. For those of you who aren't in Arizona... here is a picture of a Phoenix dust storm..

Right out of the movies, eh? They're pretty intense.

OK, I got some new lights for the bedroom... for the end tables... I'd take a picture but I'm too lazy... let me see if I can find one online... Yup! Found one. Gotta luv Google. OK, here it is... there is one on either end table now...

Oh, and I finally got my associates degree. It's officially here and all that stuff - the real paper. I had the courses done but never got around to putting in for it... and then I did and it took for-ev-er to arrive. I figured I'd get it when I retired, but lo and behold, there it was. So that's a relief... of course now I have yet something else I need to file. ;-)

The car is at 11,300+ now... and I missed my appointment to get the filter changed, etc. (it was the Monday I was in the hospital) so I've got to wait for my mechanic guy to come back from vacation - so that bites.

District Convention is next weekend - so that will be exciting! I'll get to see people I haven't seen for awhile... maybe... I'm not sure... I think most of the ones from the northern parts of the Valley had an earlier one. Oh well - it will still be fun. It looks like I actually might be staying in a hotel on that side so I won't have to drive over the 45 minutes or whatever every time. One of my friends has a big suite and extra space... and it has free breakfast!!!! (They so had me at free food).

Well that about takes care of it I think... I'll post again if I think of more critical stuff. ;-)

Oh, that's right... saw Transformers (good) and License to Wed (not so good). I want to see Hairspray but I'm trying to behave myself and trim down on my spending... I've been hemorrhaging cash of late... ;-)